How Do I Avoid The Friend zone?
The friend zone is a horrible trap unless you actually want to be friends. But wait we are talking about finding love here, the kind of love we guys want your not gonna find in friendship, lets face it, you have plenty of friends, and whats another one going to do for you, unless they are your wing man or wing woman, then yeah, but when you want a girlfriend or a wife, husband or boyfriend, no this is not ways to go about it. It is most commonly sprung not by the woman, but by the man on accident. Instead of having the confidence to be obvious that he is attracted to the girl, he allows his fear of rejection to control him so much that he instead keeps his attraction secret. He then moves in closer to the girl under the disguise of just friends when he really is interested in more. This, leads to friend zone.
You see my fellow joes, women decide fairly quickly whether or not they would want to consider you as a romantic partner or not. Within the first few meetings they will certainly have an idea on whether or not they see you as potential. If a woman decides that quickly on whether or not she sees you as “potential” or as a “friend”, then what is the point or purpose of spending much more time with her before finding out where you stand?
A lot of guys spend weeks, months, and sometimes years hanging out with a girl he secretly is crushing on. If her mind was made up on him 2 weeks in, then what is he doing 1, or 2 year later still crushing and still clueless as to whether or not he has a chance? What if she decided early on that she only views him as a friend? What the heck was he doing to himself sitting there developing a bigger and bigger crush over the course of a year? He’d have wasted a years worth of his time, that’s what he is doing to himself.
It is very important to find out where you stand openly and honestly with a girl very early on. If you have a romantic attraction to her, you need to pursue her romantically, not hang out as pals until you’re comfortable or to wait for her to send a sign and make a move. That’s not how chemistry is build, that’s how it’s destroyed. This is how friend zone happens.
It all comes back to how you respect yourself. Self respect is very important for a person, it enables you to unlock what is already there, it gives you purpose and it arises conviction in your actions. If you respect yourself then you know that you deserve more than to crush on her secretly and waste time not finding out if there is a future. A man with a healthy level of Self Respect will not tolerate wasting his time, he’s got his life to worry about.
The way to avoid friend zone is refuse to be just friends. If you make it clear early on, “I’ve got enough friends, I’m interested in seeing you.” Then you won’t be friend zoned (don't do this literally guys, this must be implied). Also if you are in a first date, just literally be yourself, try to relax yourself, yet use actions to dictate the mood and how things should go, flirting and body contact are important but that's different subject entirely. If she is interested and you make it clear without any doubt that you are, then you end up dating. If she isn’t interested then you move on and do not become friends. Just part ways respectfully and that’s that. If you still want her as friends, only do it if you are over it. If you will still end up wondering if there is a chance, get out. It’s done. In order to get you back she’s going to have to prove she’s had a change of heart otherwise you’re putting yourself at risk and a man with Self Respect won’t allow that to happen.
Be upfront. I’ve seen guys say, “I’ve tried hinting that I like her”. Wrong. You do not hint. You straight up ask the girl out or say something to her that tells her straight up how it is. Just remember one thing, Never Confess Your Feelings. This is important. You shouldn’t be telling a girl just how much you’re crushing on her, not at least until you’re in an exclusive relationship for a period of time, or until you know beyond a shadow of a doubt that she also has a major crush on you. If things are equal, then it would be safe to discuss that type of thing.
If you fall in these kind circumstances, try not to over think things, it will just cause you misery, you will analyze everything and it will paralyze your actions. Just go out there and just put yourself out of your comfort zone, experience will dictate your progress in the date game, you need to know that you will fail, but you will not die, you can always get back up. When you find out you have nothing to fear, it will become second nature to approach women, as you become less tense, your mind gets more focused with clarity, things go smoothly and soon you will have opportunities not just for having a girlfriend, but meeting people all kinds of different people you wouldn't have met otherwise.
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